Hi!
A couple of weeks ago I made an announcement over on the facebook page that my Summer schedule is going to be a bit compressed this year as my husband is going to deploy {hopefully you saw it!}. I didn't plan on making that announcement quite so early but since I have received a number of bookings for May and into June I thought it was best to give as much of a heads up as possible.
Sooooo in case you didn't see the announcement: heads up! ;)
Sooooo in case you didn't see the announcement: heads up! ;)
Since I have a number of followers who are military members and spouses I thought I'd bare a bit of my soul in hopes of maybe getting some feedback.
You see, this is going to be our very FIRST deployment as a couple and well... I'm not sure how I feel!
I'm definitely a mixture of "we have a REALLY long time before he's gone, this ain't no thang" and "oh my gosh I am SUPER not looking forward to this" mashed together with "......{tight knot in my stomach}..... {blank face}." And all of those are really dependent upon what day it is. There's no telling how I'll feel each day of the week or even each time someone asks me about it!
Like I said: I'm not really sure how I feel right now.
When we first got married my husband ended up having to leave for some training just THREE WEEKS after our wedding and we ended up 900 miles apart for the first eight months of our marriage. {Lucky ducks we were that we had chosen the wedding date we did, right?! haha Little did we know the Air Force would be yanking him away so soon after!} So thus far we've pretty much been resting on the mentality that "hey we've been apart for long periods of time before- easy peasy lemon squeezy, right?!"
But it's totally not the same thing.
I know that.
And he knows that.
I'm definitely a mixture of "we have a REALLY long time before he's gone, this ain't no thang" and "oh my gosh I am SUPER not looking forward to this" mashed together with "......{tight knot in my stomach}..... {blank face}." And all of those are really dependent upon what day it is. There's no telling how I'll feel each day of the week or even each time someone asks me about it!
Like I said: I'm not really sure how I feel right now.
When we first got married my husband ended up having to leave for some training just THREE WEEKS after our wedding and we ended up 900 miles apart for the first eight months of our marriage. {Lucky ducks we were that we had chosen the wedding date we did, right?! haha Little did we know the Air Force would be yanking him away so soon after!} So thus far we've pretty much been resting on the mentality that "hey we've been apart for long periods of time before- easy peasy lemon squeezy, right?!"
But it's totally not the same thing.
I know that.
And he knows that.
So if I've learned ANYTHING from my military spouse friends it's the following:
1. I'll be fine. I won't die. My life won't crumble.
2. Things. WILL. Break.
Or stop working. Or fall out of my ceiling. Or move into my attic. or or or. But in short everything decides to stop working almost as soon as your active duty spouse has boots on the ground. (amiright?!)
3. I should stay busy.
Or stop working. Or fall out of my ceiling. Or move into my attic. or or or. But in short everything decides to stop working almost as soon as your active duty spouse has boots on the ground. (amiright?!)
3. I should stay busy.
Busyness helps the time pass and keeps me feeling productive and positive.
4. I will have lonely and sad days {and that's ok!}.
4. I will have lonely and sad days {and that's ok!}.
5. Keep communication open and don't be surprised when some days I have nothing to talk about with my husband.
6. Surround myself with goodness and positive people
Any other advice or suggestions any of my seasoned Sarah Elle Photography family members have for me??? And on top of that I'd LOVE to hear advice from the active duty member on what you need from your spouse while you're gone! I could totally use any and all suggestions- so lay 'em on me!
With love and thanks,
This is us last year at the Zac Brown Band show for our anniversary. Heeeey!
{that's YOU guys!! No pressure ;) }
7. Don't watch the news.
I will- without fail- think every story is really about my husband and where he is located. So just don't watch the news.
I will- without fail- think every story is really about my husband and where he is located. So just don't watch the news.
OK soooo that's all I've got.
Any other advice or suggestions any of my seasoned Sarah Elle Photography family members have for me??? And on top of that I'd LOVE to hear advice from the active duty member on what you need from your spouse while you're gone! I could totally use any and all suggestions- so lay 'em on me!
With love and thanks,
Sarah
This is us last year at the Zac Brown Band show for our anniversary. Heeeey!
Send him a package a week or every other week. You will get major wifey points and they love getting reminders of home. It also gives you a fun little projectt to work on every week.
ReplyDeleteHave a super secret session with me and send him a pretty album. <--yessssss
Dont try to "be brave: or :"strong" it's ok to not have it all together. and its ok to cry when you talk with him! He can handle it and he will know if you are being fake with him.
#iloveyouwearegonnamaketimeflyby
You're so sweet to me. <3
DeleteWhat would you suggest including in the packages? Food? Magazines? Socks? (I feel like socks are things grandmas send on Easter... haha)
#loveyoutooletsworkongettingmeoverthebridge
Hello, I just found this today, and want to say Thank You, not to your husband, but to you for what you are about to go through. :) My mother in law just went through a period of a year and half when my father in law was back and forth over seas (as in months and months of him being gone). One thing that she did that I always admired was that when it was time for HIM she stopped doing whatever else life threw her way to focus on HIM. If she was on the phone and he called, she dropped who she was talking to, to talk to him. If she was a room and there were lots of people and it was hard to focus, she left that room so that she could focus just on him. It made HIM feel like he was special and worth her time, and it helped her just..focus. :)
ReplyDeleteOne of my friend's husbands is currently deployed and without fail, if she is on the phone with me or out for dinner she immediately stops, gets off the phone or gets up from the table, and takes his call. It's really great to witness and awesome to hear from someone else that this is a positive thing for both sides!
DeleteThanks so much for sharing and for commenting, Madalynn!
I'd have to say Miss Sarah Elle that you've prepared yourself a nice list of do's and don'ts and just FOLLOWING through with those is going to be your "wife's" challenge. If you fail (doubt it) anyone of those I'd say that you'll just need an "Air Force Wives" support group or friend to fall back on and get you through "those" days. I'm sure you have a ton of friends/family to help if/when that happens so just lean on them.
ReplyDeleteI want to personally thank you and your husband for all the sacrifices you both do for me and our country. Keeping us safe and protected. Know what your doing DOES matter and were very proud of you and you have our full support. Sarah if you ever need a shoulder you've got it. I'm here for you! You can e-mail me at baselexplorers@aol.com. We'll even meet up at the next Zac Brown concert and celebrate some sort of milestone if you'd like! - Your doing it right, no other suggestions - just 100% support from me.
Oh my goodness you're going to make me cry, Jennifer! You are so sweet and you don't even know me! Thank you for your kind words and for reminding me to "follow through." Talk is great right? But putting it in to action is where it counts (and where it can get tough).
DeleteWith people like you and everyone else who has messaged/called/commented I know this first go at deployment is going to be just fine.
<3
As a fellow photographer, my husband will be deploying soon as well. Within the next month, to be more specific. On top of that, we have an 11 month old. This will be our very first deployment, too! Very nervous! Eeeeeek :/
ReplyDeleteBest of luck, Amanda!! Seems like we've got a lot of things in common :)
DeleteHello, Mrs. Sarah Elle! I just wanted to thank you for your sacrifice as a military spouse! My dad is in the Navy and for five year straight he missed every single one of my birthdays because he was deployed so I understand how difficult it is to have family members that are away. I can only imagine how much harder it is when it is your husband instead of your dad. When my daddy was away, my mom used to try to make life as normal as possible. She used to do little special things like having a picnic in the living room or ice cream for dinner. One thing that helped make the time feel more manageable was simply making a paper chain of the number of days he would be gone and then we would rip off one new piece each day. It seems small but somehow it helped. We sent carepackages and letters quite often as well. Hope that is of some help! Praying for safety and quick return! -Sincerely, Haley Howell
ReplyDeleteI've seen those paper chains before at a friend's house; she was also doing it for her kids :)
DeleteThank you so much for sharing your experiences with me. I am so humbled by all of the love and support you and others have shown me!
And thank you also for your sweet words and awesome ideas! I may have to start having ice cream for dinner while he's gone! <3
I love all the support and love you have around you!!! From the little bit I know about you and your hubby, you are a strong couple and your love will make the time pass quickly. I will be here for you whenever you need it!
ReplyDeleteP.S. LOVE Tianna's idea....totally think you should do it!
I feel like the "Tianna's idea" you're referencing is having a "secret session" with her. haha You two are a bad influence! ;)
DeleteThanks for your love, friend!!
Don't forget you have a support system here, like me, to help you out. I think that you are going to be fine. I do think your list is pretty great. As long as you can put all that into practice, you will be great. I also agree with Tianna's idea!!
ReplyDeleteThat's a good point, Dawn. I guess I struggle to ask for help-- but that sounds like most military families, huh? haha
DeleteThanks for the support and encouragement and for saying my list is great! I feel so naive right now and like i'm about to "earn my AF wife stripes" haha, so i'm feeling a little anxious.
And yea yea yea everyone likes Tianna's idea! haha I'm assuming everyone means the "have a secret session" one ;)